How 2020 became my year of realization and self-embracement?
2020 was a year of losses, challenges, and realizations. It was a year that made humans take the journey inwards and search for the missing part in their lives.
I am a housewife and this is my journey of realization and most of all 2020 is the year of self-embracement for me.
When I got married, they said now you are not a girl so behave like a woman. Life went on and came by a little angel in my life; they said you are a complete woman now, so take care of baby and family members. So trying my best to be this good woman I went on with my life and now my angel is no longer little.
She has grown up and seen me doing all the household stuff so perfectly that she thought, “ it is the way mom lives and so when I grow up I won’t be like her. How is it possible for someone to do something so tirelessly every day and still not throw tantrums? It must be some silly job that requires no skill”. Soon I learned from her ways that I am no more important in her life. So what? Still, the woman in me didn’t make me show my feelings to her.
Then something made me change my mind. It was the lockdown period in March 2020. All family members were at home but all the household chores were to be done by the only woman in the house. Without house-help work became more arduous and tiresome. My grown-up angel and my spoilt husband, yep both are spoilt by so-called women in their lives, never paid heed to how difficult it was becoming for me to continue like this.
After one week I broke down, I could no longer take it. Do you think it affected them? Yes, it did! To the extent that their lives were not disturbed. I cannot sleep the whole night thinking about what have I gained in pretending to be a good woman, I have been pretending all these years, I don’t want to be this, I want to think of myself before them and not feel guilty about it. I realized I am in a cocoon ready to break free, to fly into a new world, and release the real woman in me.
As Celine Dion says, “I have become a housewife and there is no better job.”
Yes! I am a housewife and 2020 made me realize that I am the most inevitable part of this society. I am the reason for happiness in the lives of my family members. I am the reason they stay strong and perfect. My job is the most respectful and tiresome job in the world. This is the promise I make to myself and no one can make me feel otherwise.
